Gratitude - the Antidote to Hell

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

2020 so far has been a pretty hellish year. Catastrophic wildfires in Australia and California, a global pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people and brought economies to a screeching halt, massive job loss, brutal police violence and racial inequalities exposed, and the arrival of murder hornets on our shores. I’m scared to think of what the remainder of 2020 holds in store for us. Fear and vulnerability have crept into every corner of life, from school, to job and election security, to our health and well-being… and there seems to be no end in sight.

Chad’s job was a casualty of the corona virus, which he lost in April. With it went our health insurance and financial security. Compared to many who’ve lost their job, we feel fortunate. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, good health, loving and supportive family and friends, and I still have my job as a piano teacher.  We’re so thankful…but it’s still scary.

I see Churchill’s quote as a metaphor for 2020, and am trying to “keep going.” Focusing on everything that’s wrong right now (which is very tempting to do) would be like strolling through hell and lingering at an especially scorching spot to admire the heat. My goal is to move through this challenging time with as few burns as possible.

Focusing on things I think I can control has been helpful, like trying to maintain good health. I’m cooking all the time with a ton of veggies Chad harvests from our garden. I’m making a massive effort to exercise more (even though I really hate exercise). I downloaded the “headspace” app and have used meditation as a reward after exercise, and am amazed at how much more enjoyable meditation has become when it means I can stop exercising. I’m going to bed earlier and try to get at least eight hours of sleep every night.

My focus on staying healthy makes me feel better. It takes up space in my head, which elbows out the fear and uncertainty that inevitably start creeping in. When fear sneaks through my defenses, the one tool that I’ve found to be 100% effective is focusing on gratitude. Even if it’s for simple things like the ability to see, hear, and walk; gratitude has the power to pull me back from falling into fear and focusing my mind on all the amazing things I already have in my life but too often don’t bother to appreciate. Gratitude is this magical thing that lets me live in a beautiful state of mind, no matter how scary or uncertain everything is around me.  It’s given me a sense of security and control, which is saying a lot in 2020. I’ve realized that we ultimately only have control over one thing - how we respond to things. We might as well make the stroll through hell as pleasant as possible by choosing not to respond with fear, but with gratitude.

- Karen Lilly